Commentary from the staff of Auctiva.com
To Block or Not To Block?
40
In the spring of 2009, I had the displeasure of dealing with a buyer I just describe as interesting, to be generous. A year later I’m still dealing with this person.
Every seller, sooner or later, will have to deal with one of these odd creatures. How you handle the situation is a test of patience, maturity, self-control and sanity. Did I mention sanity?
It all started with a question this buyer sent me about an item I had up for auction on eBay. The question seemed a little weird, and I was foolish enough to answer. Hey, I am a good seller after all, and I want to answer every potential buyer’s question.
Long story short, after many, many odd questions and follow-ups with this buyer (and yes, she did eventually win my auction) I thought I was finally done. Three weeks of this woman was enough! She had asked me if I would give her a discount if she bought other similar items from me in the future, told me way too much personal information about her health situation, harassed me about shipping times and more. Eventually she paid, and I shipped. Goodbye. Sayonara. Adios. Forever! …or so I thought.
For good measure, I added this buyer to my Blocked Bidder list on eBay. I knew it wouldn’t give me 100-percent protection from having to deal her again, but it’s the best I had. Maybe I could finally sleep at night.
But noooooooo! October came. I listed another of the items I had sold to the wacky buyer earlier in the year and, lo and behold, I heard from her again. She wondered why she couldn’t bid on the auction. She seemed to forget about her endless questions and unrealistic terms during the first transaction. I, on the other hand, needed therapy and sleeping pills to get over that transaction. (Perhaps I’m embellishing, but only to illustrate how much I disliked dealing with this bad apple). But, not wanting to get her riled up, I made up some “maybe eBay is having a glitch” excuse and left it at that.
Now it’s spring again, and I listed the last of these items I had in my stock. Guess what? Yep, I heard from that buyer again: “Why am I blocked from bidding on your listing?” I still haven’t replied yet. Should I be honest and say, “You gave me nightmares!”—in a nicer fashion, of course—or make up an excuse and hope she just goes away?
What would you do? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Share your “nightmare buyer” tales. Hopefully I’ll find some comfort in knowing I’m not alone.
About the author
Rebecca Miller is Auctiva.com's product manager. As an eBay seller of more than 10 years, Rebecca is well tuned into the needs of online sellers, and serves as an internal advocate for merchants. She continuously monitors Auctiva's Community Forums, answering customer's questions and taking their feedback to developers for future enhancements. Rebecca continues to sell on eBay, and is currently a PowerSeller and a Top-rated Seller.
Sounds like a customer I had a long time ago. She bid on 5 or 6 items and then told me she would not be able to pay until next month. I said OK and after she was ready to pay she asked for a discount on shipping, which I gave her. After she got the stuff she said I overcharged her on shipping.
Gave her the $1.25 I made on shipping and then I blocked her. Later she asked why she could not bid on my stuff and then I blocked her e-mail also. No problems with her after that !
Tell her the truth. She obviously has no idea what a pain she is, and she needs to know why you have decided she is more trouble than her business is worth. Be clear and factual. Describe how much of your time it takes up to answer questions and why hers were so odd and out of bounds.
Personally, I would have blocked her after the first few questions so you would not have to deal with her later. This is just the type of person who will get discounts out of you on the promise of more business and then slam you with low DSRs and product claims that are not based in reality.
Better to nip it in the bud before the item sells, cancel bids if you have to and sleep better at night. You might make a little less money, but life is too short to put up with customers that suck the life out of you. You are not doing anyone any good by hiding behind the “eBay must have a glitch” story. That is as good as “my unpaid item strikes are because my kids used my account” story. We all need to be responsible for our actions. You blocked her so fess up and let her learn a lesson for the future about how buyers should behave (i.e., read the listing carefully before asking dumb questions, etc.).
I, too, have had to deal with an odd Duck or two. Be up front and honest and let this person know that although you appreciated his/her previous custom, you’d really rather not have further dealings. Or if this isn’t your cup of tea, either lie and say it must be an eBay glitch or don’t answer, though this last one wouldn’t be advised as people do tend to keep e-mailing until it drives you up the wall or back into counseling.
I think you can muster all of your tact and grace for one final attempt at being courteous. However, don’t mistake courtesy with being nice. It is courteous to reply in a stern, but calm fashion explaining your very valid reasons for the block.
Maybe ”dear ___ I am responding as a courtesy to ask that you please understand that I have both limited time and resources. I price my items fairly and ship them at a reasonable expense. I found many of your requests and questions in our last transaction to be both unreasonable, unmeetable, and redundant as the listing clearly spelled out what I expected as the seller, and what you as the bidder should have expected in return. In that experience, I provided what was described and consider our business finished. With that I ask that you please refrain from further inquiries regarding the items I have listed for auction. Thank you.”
Now, you are almost guaranteed to get one final nasty gram. But it’s 50-50 (at worst) that she will eventually go away, but If she persists I image there is some recourse you can take with eBay to prevent from being harassed. Good luck.
Just ignore her
I feel for you!!! It’s best not even to answer her and let her imagine that technology is messing up on her again. If you’re nice and write anything, she’ll sink her hooks into it. Promise!
Thank God, my nightmare buyers bought, gave me a good 60 days of trouble and then NEVER came back to bother me.
I was beginning to wonder if my negative experiences were just me. I am honestly wondering if I have met the same person as you, but there is a pattern with all problem buyers. They always ask me many questions before buying, they seem friendly and I answer everything they ask. It’s once they buy something that the problem starts, begging e-mails (I’ve lost my job, I want a discount, various personal life stories…). Then comes the demands, abuse and more e-mails.
What hurts is that you tried to help these people, and, yes, I’ve had to ban them as it becomes clear they are either experts in manipulation of eBayers or they have psychological problems. Perhaps if eBay had let buyers actually rate these people with negative feedback, we might have some idea of who we are dealing with. It would also help if eBay didn’t allow blocked buyers to send more demanding, begging and downright crazy messages to us!
Tell her the truth, that you are not prepared to deal with her.
It is amazing how many people I deal with who are rude, over-demanding and threatening. E-mail gives them the power to vent their rage when face to face they wouldn’t say boo.
Reply with a polite e-mail to say that you are not prepared to deal with someone who is (insert your own adjective here) as you would not expect to treat others in that way.
Hello Rebecca,
A tale of woe indeed. Add her e-mail address to your blocked sender list and sleep at night, and hope she has not noted your address and comes knocking on your door
Peter W
Ordinarily I answer all e-mails from eBay users immediately, but in this case I’d choose not to answer.
You’ve blocked her from bidding, so there’s nothing to be gained by letting her draw you into even a brief exchange. You are not required by eBay to provide a reason for blocking a bidder, nor does eBay have a requirement that sellers answer e-mails from other users.
When I encounter an eBay member whose behavior is bad enough that I block them from bidding/buying, I don’t want to encourage further bad behavior by corresponding with them if there’s no legitimate business reason to do so.
Your problem with blocking her is that she could have sour grapes and get a friends/family to bid on her behalf and leave you a negative feedback!
Just to add that I had a similar problem with a buyer (wondering if it is the same person). After she received my items started to blackmail me saying that one item was not as described and trying to make me send other items to send for free FOR NOT RECEIVING A NEGATIVE.
She kept harassing me also during the night with threatening e-mails and, due to the time difference, I couldn’t answer at once. Her husband also started to intimidate me. I have told them to send back the item and to refund them. They refused this also. Long story short, my luck was that all these complaints came a loooong time after she received the items and so feedback couldn’t be left anymore. This person is blocked for good from all my listings. Interesting is that other fellow sellers had to deal with her and had similar problems. So, YOU decide.
I would block the person and then if any questions were asked, just ignore them. I don’t get any questions from eBay buyers prior to them buying as I just have FAQ set up and the “Ask Buyer Question” turned off.
It makes life a lot easier, and I have not noticed any drop in sales, but I don’t offer auctions just BIN with immediate PayPal payment so it may not work for everybody.
Derek
Hi,
I get spooked really quickly when I smell trouble like your customer. I block when they seem way too needy, not asking just normal questions. I don’t answer them when they ask, “why did you block me?” I have really had this only happen once, when I shut the auction down when the buyer wanted me to switch to a Buy It Now and did not have a very good feedback history. She had given out negatives before. She had the current bid. I (don’t) have and hope to never have a negative. I don’t sell that many items on eBay and could be badly hurt with a negative. (I sell) like only 125 items a year.
I think not answering her should be enough of an answer to her to question as giving the answers to the whys. She should be able to figure it out herself and see she has been an out of line eBayer. She has been way more trouble than she was worth. Good luck in the future.
It is with much reluctance I block a potential buyer, however, the transaction should be a positive experience for both buyer and seller.
Buyers who exhibit immature shopping habits possibly don’t belong in online shopping. Money is not the whole reason for selling for me.
Rebecca,
You are not alone. I have been selling on eBay for 12 years, and I have around 30 or so eBay IDs in my blocked bidder list, which included very annoying people as you mentioned, to down right mean and nasty people, to people that were just too weird to deal with again.
Of course, I, too, try to be as nice, friendly, and helpful as I can with all questions toward my eBay listings, but with the millions of eBay users, blocking a few should be a normal habit of all eBay sellers.
eBay changes alone are frustrating enough sometimes, another round of changes is coming, and more “waste of time” questions, I am sure, will be coming.
Life can be tough, we just have to get a bit tougher.
A world market… but a total exposure to some of the nuttiest people on it also!
I like the ability to block from further probs, and it seems we also should be able to block from eBay messages. Guess they don’t want to deal with the fruitcakes questions, either… IGNORE HER!! and… have a WONDERFUL DAY!!!
-Lynda
Hi Rebecca,
WOW! You appear to living my life!!! OK, not quite but “been there done that.” What I eventually did was block the buyer’s e-mail at my ISP on top of blocking the buyer in eBay. I put the buyer on my Junk Mail list and made it a policy to answer ALL eBay messages through my e-mail account instead of through my eBay account. I also hid my e-mail address on all correspondence. Eventually this fruitcake gave up or moved on to infect another seller.
It would be nice if eBay would afford sellers the ability of blocking ALL communications with problem buyers, even better if a blocked buyer would get an automatic reply from eBay saying they are blocked from this auction and that is that.
We can dream can’t we?
Good luck, and if you find another, simpler way, let the community know.
Cheers,
Clyde
I, too, have had this situation and tried handling it the same as you the first time. The next time around I tried the honesty route and explained sellers on eBay get nervous after too many questions because we have found that someone that asks more than 3 volleys of questions either never buys, or buys and returns because they were on the fence about the purchase in the first place. That buyer ended up thanking me for the explanation and wished me well. Give that a try!
Totally block her. It is your business and bad apples are not worth the headaches. Tell her that your past transactions with her have not been smooth and that you wish not to deal with her. Say, “I hope you will find what you want with another vendor.”
Stick to your guns. Remember, she cannot leave bad feedback if you don’t sell her anything. Good sellers always get and keep good customers, but customers have to be responsible for their own behavior, and they are equally responsible in any transaction or relationship with sellers, so hold them accountable. In my experience, it always pays off, and customers do appreciate it.
Rebecca,
I immediately block a non-paying bidder. Dealing once with someone who disrespects you by not paying for an item they won the bid on, thereby costing you time and money, is enough. If a blocked bidder were to e-mail me asking why they can’t bid, I would ignore the question. They don’t deserve any more of your time, as they have already proven they are unworthy of it. In your case, I would still do the same. You don’t need buyers who give you nightmares. There are plenty of great buyers out there , who respond to messages promptly, pay on time and leave you nice feedback. It is a matter of weeding your garden.
As I discovered when I had brick-and-mortar stores, one nightmare customer can suck out a whole day’s energy, which should be given to all the gracious customers who deserve it. I am now quick to block an impending problem person, and even block those who give undeserved nasty feedback to other sellers who I know perform well.
Some people have little power in their personal lives, and find eBay one place they can throw their weight around. Their business is not worth the aggravation, no matter how big their wallet.
See trouble on the horizon? Block the buyer and ask questions later. You can always remove the block, but you can’t recover the day they ruined. Sanity is priceless.
Please,kick this numpty into touch. Set up a block on your e-mails as well as your bidding list,then tear her to shreds.Tell her the grief you have suffered because of her. Don’t mince your words or you will never be rid of your gremlin.I had a similar event. I, too, was soft at first,but when my mare wanted me to deliver personally, or she would leave neg feedback that was it, I scrapped her bids,blocked all the doors and waited for the crappy feedback. It never came. I was rid of the crazy mare.
-Iain
I actually had a nightmare seller like this. I made a best offer on an item that she had for sale. She accepted the offer, but when the invoice came it was wrong. She harassed me about paying on time, etc… So dummy me I went ahead and paid. She shipped.
When I go the item I wrote back to let her know that she had made a mistake on the offer and that I was due a partial credit. She went ballistic on me, so I reminded her that the way she was handling this was going to probably get her negative feedback, from a PowerSeller, me!
This enticed her even more, and outside of eBay, to my regular e-mail, was a threat from her boyfriend telling me that he and all his “friends” were going to buy from me and neg. feedback me! She has since told me that no matter how long it takes she will get me! I reported everything to eBay. They have been trying to help, when she went so far as to buy something from me with the obvious idea that she would neg me, she was blocked from doing so.
Now I just wait to see what is next. I did leave her negative. She deserved it for not paying attention to the details of the best offer, and for playing dirty! Treats to my income are taken seriously, and I don’t know what else I can do but this one is over the top! The buyer you have should remain blocked, and I would not bother to answer as it may just spin her out of control!
Many small business owners put themselves “out there” by calling themselves the “owner” or some name that implies that the final decision rests with them.
When selling on eBay and you have more than a few items, you should answer all e-mail as “WE” shipped your package, and not “I” shipped your package. And “WE” received your payment and not “I” received your payment.
Always respond as if there are others involved, other management, other principals, etc. THEN, you can say, “the management placed your account off limits due to the time involved with your buying habits or felt that we needed more experienced buyers, etc.”
So, that the “Management” put a block on their account and not YOU.
I only block a buyer/bidder who has not paid for an auction after going through the whole unpaid item process, or who has been rude or offensive in some way, which usually results in an unpaid item anyway and is still covered by that “rule” of mine.
I have never blocked a person for wanting more information about what I was selling. I would and do encourage people to ask all the questions they need to to be satisfied about what they are purchasing. It is online, after all, and they cannot see, hear, or touch the item in person.
You weren’t real specific about the questions she was asking, but shipping is not unusual, and who knows what her story is or why she’s asking questions we think are “odd”. She WANTS to buy your items and would now have been a multiple repeat buyer, and it would seem your actions are what has prevented that from happening. I’d be interested in why you’re continuing to block her when she completed the original transaction and wants to make more.
Dear Rebecca,
I know EXACTLY what you are going through, as I have had the same problem in the past. You ask now, what should you do?…..Simply NOTHING. Do not respond to her; it gives her more reasons to keep e-mailing you. Just ignore anything more with her, and eventually she WILL go away and leave you alone, and start with someone else. lol.
It’s sad, but there are people like this all over the world. I even have a nephew who is like that!!! When they have their minds made up, they will bug you, until you STOP replying to them.
I hope it has stopped by now, and if it hasn’t, it will.
Good luck,
Jeri
I’ve dealt with people like this. I also believe that honesty is the best policy when dealing with people as a person or as a business:
Dear Madam,
I felt that after our last transaction that I could not satisfy you as a buyer and myself as a seller at the same time. For this reason, I’ve decided that it would be better for both of us if we not do business any more. Thank you for attempting to bid, I am sure another seller will be better able to meet your needs.
ME
In order to keep someone from coming back, I do the same – block them. But when you have someone that you’ve had problems with in the past, and they keep attempting to bid on your auctions, you can do one of the following:
1. Ask them if they’re using a different ISP, or public computer. At first this may seem stupid, but it works. This is the art of diversion. You’re trying to make them feel comfortable without being confrontational.
2. Ask them if they have a similar name to someone that you’ve banned before. Tell them you might’ve made a mistake. Sometimes they’ll believe it, but if you want to let them down, it’s easier to do it slowly than to do it outright.
3. Do what I do: Tell them that you’re not interested in dealing with them anymore, and the reason why. Ignore her e-mails. Don’t read them, and eventually she’ll go away when there’s no response. She doesn’t have a legitimate complaint, or a reason to start any trouble with eBay, and without a response, she’ll have no ammunition to keep blasting away at you.
Hi, sounds exactly like the buyer I had last year. I got all the information on her health and the family tragedies etc,etc. After I had sent her article (having upgraded the postage and getting a signed confirmation sent with it), I started getting e-mails about where it was and why had I not sent it, even though Australia Post said that it had landed in the USA 2 days after posting, and USPS followed up and said that it had been delivered and signed for.
I dealt with her for a while, but eventually I asked eBay to intervene and investigate, after she had left negative (and nasty) feedback for me. (eBay later removed this). eBay found in my favour in its investigation (thank goodness for postal confirmation documents), and she was banned from eBay. But sadly it sounds as if she has found a way to return to annoy other honest sellers.
All of my problems with her were over a doll that I sold to her. If you want more info., contact me on my e-mail address. Meanwhile, if she is still causing you problems, report it to eBay and ask them for help, they are very good with this sort of problem.
Kind regards,
Rob
Hi I recently had a similar experience though not quiet the same, with a seller who purchased one plate of a set of 6 by auction. They then e-mailed to request if I would sell my other plates as a Buy It Now. I informed them that I would at the same price as the one already purchased (which was the auction start price for 3 more of the plates, as I had reduced 2 to try and encourage interest). This seemed to upset the buyer and they originally refused.
They then came back after bidding on one of the reduced price plates and again asked if I would sell them at the price I had stated. After some consideration I agreed, adding a Buy It Now to all the listings except the one they had bid on, and they immediately purchased the plates. I then ended the listing for the other plate in the buyers favor at the reduced price, and sent a combined invoice for all 6 plates reducing the postage to £10.00 from the original £20.00. The buyer then promptly complained about the postage cost, saying they felt it was to expensive. After 2 days they finally agreed and paid for the 6 plates, which were booked to be collected by courier the next day, and were delivered 2 days after payment was received.
The initial feedback from the buyer for one plate was – RECEIVED WITH THANKS A+++++++.- I then noticed something strange. My DSRs had suddenly got worse adding 3 x 1-2 to my Seller Dashboard. And with some running of reports I managed to narrow it down to this buyer. As the transaction had seemed to run well with no major setbacks on communication (answered all e-mails immediately,sent e-mail when item collected / posted, and with the postage cost reduced in price to only £10.00 (actual courier cost were £9.20 with insurance), and delivery in 2 DAYS.
I could not understand why these DSRs were left, that is unless it was because I would not reduce the price of the items further as the buyer had requested. With eBay not allowing the querying of DSRs, I decided that my best option would be to add this buyer to my blocked buyer list. This was to make sure that they would not be able to do this to me again. Several days later I received an e-mail asking why the buyer in question could no longer bid on more of my items. I unfortunately made the mistake of stating my reasons, to which they initially denied having left the DSRs. I then informed them that I had narrowed it down to their transaction, and they eventually admitted it was them, and it was as I suspected because I would not negotiate on the price. A fact they seemed to feel I was obliged to do.
They have since proceeded to leave 3 further negatives feedbacks and 12 x 1-2 DSRs, stating that they were banned from my listings because they left poor DSRs and I had been rude. It would seem eBay can do or will not do anything about this though they tell you to use the blocked bidder list as a means of protecting yourself from malicious buyers, and I will possibly have to suffer 2 more negatives being left at 2 weekly intervals and another 8 x 1-2 DSRs before I can finally rid my self of this buyer.
I would tell her the truth – she may not even realize she is being a pest, and how many others is she bothering. She obviously has not realized that being blocked means something. I wonder if she is now bothering the good people at eBay help for ongoing assistance.
Stop responding. You blocked her.
Thank you all for your comments and suggestions! I know I wasn’t too specific about the entire ordeal I had with this buyer (not enough room in our blogs to list everything! lol), but you seemed to get the jist of it. Most of you have had to deal with the same thing at one time or another, and I appreciate the fact that we sellers are not alone!
Rebecca
p.s. I was psyching myself up to reply to this buyer’s question about being blocked, but because the auction was ending within a few hours, I took the easy way out and just didn’t reply. Hope I did the right thing. My item still sold at a higher price than I expected
so no harm done there.
I had a situation when selling a Sony stereo where an interested buyer asked me some very specific questions about the model number, number version, etc. I became suspicous that he might have a faulty one and wanted to rob mine for parts then attempt to return it! But I didn’t knock his bid off, as he had been the only bidder on it for the previous week.
When he won it, before I shipped it, I put some discreet tamper proof seals on it. Sure enough he contacted me to complain that it was faulty!
I agreed that he could ship it back to me. Plus I mentioned before he returned it that I had put some seals on it. I said he had best check they were still intact because if it came back with them broken I would not refund his return postage or give a refund! He didn’t return the stereo communications stopped and I was left with negative feedback!
I guess when he realized he had broken the seals he felt defeated.
@Harry McColl
“High maintenance” is a polite way to say it.
I once blocked a buyer because he kept going on and on about shipping to the Middle East and throwing in some freebies. I replied the first time with a solid but friendly NO to his request to ship to the Middle East and mostly ignored his other messages after putting him in my blocked list.
Well what do you know? He went and registered another account and bought my item anyway, but used a NY address and then complained that he didn’t get any of the freebies he asked for that we never agreed to. He also wanted me to pay for return shipping from the Middle East. It was a NIGHTMARE. In the end he complained to PayPal and was instructed to return the item, which he did. I was lucky enough that he didn’t send a box with rocks. Needless to say “block buyers registered in countries to which I do not ship” is set by default in ALL my listings.
I block bidders for a wide variety of reasons, most often because they have not paid for something, demanded lower shipping or other give-backs after winning the auction, or send harsh, rude e-mails about some aspect of a listing. I figure, if they’re so outraged by my S&H (or whatever) before bidding, I’d better make sure they can’t make a mistake and bid again.
I also use the eBay system that automatically blocks bidders who have a certain number of unpaid strikes or other problems. When someone asks me why they can’t bid, I don’t reply. They have already wasted enough of my time and energy doing the things that get them blocked.
You know my problem with all of this is that ebay won’t stand behind it’s sellers no matter how evident even when the truth are in there e/mail system. I had a nightmare buyer that turned a shipping mistake into a form of extortion and was backed up %100 by the people I have been so loyal to for 12 years. I still do ebay but shiver every time i see a number added to my fb. until i see it’s still %100, Yes I lost all faith and loyalty in them.
I had a similar problem. I simply told the buyer that I didn’t feel comfortable doing business with them. Fortunately, it worked. I didn’t hear from her again.